Friday, January 9, 2015

The Indian Express….. If Only!

January 8, 2015. The time 2045 hrs. As I adjust my chair in front of my ‘idiosyncratic’ television in office, I can’t help but remember the good old days when the term ‘Indian Express’ meant more than just the newspaper. I gaze around my ‘estranged’ workstation hoping to find at least one soul with whom I can share my feelings. I find the abyss of nothingness instead – in terms of passion, knowledge & commitment.

Was it just I then who was excited about what was in store for the next 1.5 hours? I guess so!

Sitting in the office of the biggest ‘Sports’ broadcaster in the country, I look towards the bevy of televisions behind me. I hope against hope that I don’t have any channel to work on. I don’t want to miss even a second of what was about to be shown. I end up disappointed. I see 2 of them free.

Dejected I dash towards them in a sense of urgency to fire something that I think brings emotions like me to watch something that comes once in a blue moon. Anything I write would not bring justice to the magnanimity of the situation. Friends-turned-foes! Indian Legends Collide! CTL v IPTL! Anything else?

In the end, I keep it simple. Leander Paes versus Mahesh Bhupathi! That says everything. That says it all!


Who to support or who to boo? I ask around people for their thoughts. “No idea!” Of course! 2011 was the last time that the Indian Express played together here. They won! The crowd cheered like crazy. The pair had just re-united then. All differences were kept aside. Both wanted to win the 2011 Australian Open crown to complete their career Grand Slams and had played in Chennai as warm-up. Things didn’t work out for long though. The misunderstandings had crept back in. The pair couldn’t go on. If only!

They have played against each other many times ever since. This time around though, it was different.

For the first time in the history of the tournament, Chennai Open was set to see Paes and Bhupathi battle it out from opposite ends. Never before in its 20-year tenure had such a situation occurred. Chennai did not know how to react to it. Vijay Amritraj didn’t know how to commentate on it. The broadcasters did not know how to produce it. And I did not know why the world was not going crazy.

Raman Bhanot, the sports anchor who it feels has been around since the dawn of time, is on court for the introductions. “First up are Mahesh Bhupathi and Saketh Myneni.” Saketh who? Myneni! The guy who Leander Paes recently replaced in the Davis Cup doubles. All the more reason for the lad to be fired up for this if playing amidst Lee-Hesh was not a big enough reason.

The duo starts walking out. Bhupathi, with a look on his face that resembles the sultry Chennai weather, walks out first with Myneni just behind him. The crowd gives them a warm reception. The look on Mahesh’s face shouts out loud that he’s more relieved and does not want to misconstrue the response as an insult. Myneni meanwhile just walks out with his head down eager to extract the ‘Paesy’ revenge.

Bhanot, whose job description also has him handing out cricket bats to winners for them to hit tennis balls into the crowd, gets ready for the next introduction. “And their opponents,” he pauses. As if to tease the crowd. The SDAT Tennis Stadium erupts with elation. My “who to support, who to boo” question has been answered and answered even before one half of the players have walked out.

“Leander Paes and his 99th doubles partner, Raven Klassen.”

Just standing up to applaud the greatness of a 22-year-old disguised as a 41-year-old legend seemed pretty little to me at that time. I wanted to shout. I wanted to hoot. I wanted to chest bump the freaking wall. I looked around (yet again!) and found no one even remotely interested. Here we have two of the greatest Indian tennis players in history, who have staggering 26 Grand Slam titles between them, walking out to face each other and not a squeak in office. I wanted to high-five some cheeks. If only!


Raven Klassen was feeling as if he had walked into a WWE arena. At least the look on his face when the players came forward for the toss seemed to tell that story. Team Bhupathi won the toss and chose to serve first. Mahesh stole a glance towards Leander as if to say, “Let’s see what you’ve got mate!” Leander just stared back with his big cold eyes. Maybe for a second, but God it looked like an eternity.

He didn’t have to speak. The raucous crowd did all the talking for him. The stadium began reverberating with the “Let’s go Paes, let’s go!” chants. If it wasn’t clear who the favorite was before, it was now.

Myneni hit the first serve. “Fault,” retorted the linesman. Myneni could not believe the call. Bhupathi felt as if the whole world had started to conspire against him already. The review showed the ball was miles inside the legal serve area. The umpire laughed. Leander laughed. Amritraj almost fell off his chair laughing. Mahesh was unruffled. The call was reversed. 15-0! The crowd enlivened. It was now time for Leander to come forward to the net and be inches away from Mahesh. The first rendezvous upfront.

Myneni served again. Klassen sent the ball back to Myneni who hit it straight to Leander at the net. Mahesh’s eyes gladdened. “This was it,” he thought. “Anything from Leander and I have to hit it no matter what.” Leander hit the most deft and unplayable slices in Chennai Open history. “The point is mine now,” Leander believed. Contrary to his belief, an out-of-work-for-close-to-9-months Mahesh reached for it in the most prodigious manner to effectuate one of the most immense returns possible.

Boom,” Mahesh roared! Just two points into the match and a fairytale script was already in passage. The game went by and it was Leander’s turn to serve now. In a spur of a moment Mahesh went back to receive. Unlike the old days, it’s the receiving end who can choose who in the team wants to receive now. Looking at Bhupathi’s body language it was clear that he wanted to receive all of Leander’s serves.

It was ridiculously, obviously, patently unsaid.

Leander served! Ace! Almost instantly a fanciful scorecard read “Paes 1 Bhupathi 1”. An unimpressed Bhupathi stared at the scorecard as if to see how fast that one went past him. There was nothing there. He waited and waited and waited. Still nothing! He would now have to wait for Myneni to play out his point before receiving again. The wait seemed endless. He would have squandered the point if he could as receiving Leander’s serve right away meant more than anything else at that moment. If only!

Oh the sentience of perpetuity for Mahesh Bhupathi!

This was more than just a Chennai Open quarterfinal now. This was personal war. The appeasement of the situation was unendurably painful. I look around once again to find someone as exhilarated as me. Matthew Hayden, who was on the television for the umpteenth time, was my only smiling comrade.


It was really sad to be witnessing such a situation when two of the greatest stalwarts of Indian tennis had reached a point when you had to choose between one of them. With the skill level that was on display, just imagine where they would have been today had they worked out their differences.

If only!

Lee-Hesh grew up with each other. They helped each other mature. They helped each other reach the pinnacle of success and helped each other conquer the final frontier. They were always looking out for each other. They burgeoned in glory together. They agonized in pain together. They were more than just partners on the circuit. They were brothers in arms. They had it in them to be the greatest. Ever!

If only!

The Indian Express was the voice that India never had. It was an underdog movement against the atrocities of a cruel sport that showed no remorse towards the weak. A revolution that meant stopping at nothing until success was at your feet. We reveled with them. We cried with them. In a way, the Indian Express was the story that all sports fans could connect to. It was ‘us’ who was playing out there with them. That is how important they were to us. That is how indispensable they were to us.

If only!

Two guys from India conquering the world in 1999 was worldwide news. It called for fantastic television. They reached the finals of all four Grand Slams that year. They won the French Open and Wimbledon. Two Grand Slams that not only had completely different surfaces, but also took a phenomenal amount of talent, hard work and versatility to vanquish. We were there. We saw it happen. We rejoiced.

If only!

“India can’t produce good tennis players,” they said. “Indian tennis players do not have what it takes,” they said. “Indian Express silenced the critics and took the world by storm,” they never said. Put Lee-Hesh on the court today and it can be said with paramount certainty that they’ll still give the Bryan Brothers a run for their money. I might be getting carried away, but that is the kind of confidence that was instilled in us. They taught us to dream big. They taught us to win big. They taught us to rule.

If only!

Team Paes beat Team Bhupathi this time around. Needless to say, we were thoroughly entertained. Both players showed classy characters while handling themselves. Leander Paes, at 41, proved yet again that age was indeed just a number. Mahesh Bhupathi proved that a 9-month hiatus means nothing if one learns to put mind over matter. If this was a Grand Slam, the match could have gone forever.

If only!

Leander, in his post-match interview with Bhanot, said “I would like to give a huge shout-out for Hesh. He hasn’t been on the court for close to 9 months but has still come out and played a fantastic match.” Bhanot said nothing. “That’s a fitting end,” he thought. Pretty sure that Mahesh was smiling somewhere in the back on hearing that and would have said something similar had he won instead of Leander.

Deep down I feel that they still want to be with each other. They still know how valuable the other one is. They still know what India and the world missed out on because of their split. I know for a fact that I can sleep well at night knowing that if a day comes when the country would need its greatest tennis heroes to defend its honour, then Lee-Hesh would be the first ones to take the court.

If only... If only!

Thursday, January 1, 2015

The ‘What’ of a Footballing Nation?

Yaaawwnn! Yeh match penalties mein jaaega. (Yaaawwnn! This match will be decided by penalties)”

For a certain “dubious” dude watching the grand denouement of a revolution called the “birth of a footballing nation,” penalties seemed to be the perfect ending to an insipid formality. One could sense the excitement in the air on December 20th, 2014. Not because India was on the brink of crowning its first ever Indian Super League champion, but because not anymore would one have to make a spiritless effort to like something that made no sense to begin with.
                                                                                                                         
 YouTube could now be watched freely again.

Meanwhile, approximately 36 kilometers away, a ‘cricket’ stadium was busy buzzing with close to 36000 fans that, knowingly or unknowingly, were minutes away from being a part of a match that culminated in the most ‘Solskjaer-esque’ manner possible.

The official attendance was 42,840, but I quote the figure ‘close to 36000’ because trains were to be caught, taxis were to be boarded, autos were to be shared and ‘oolta chashmas’ were to be viewed. And all this had to be done once the game hit the 80-minute mark because let’s face it – “Sirf das minute hi toh reh gaye the. (Only 10 minutes were left)”

At the same time, somewhere inside the stadium, the greatest sports presenter in the country, while taking out his ‘Man United wallet’ and ‘Man United-cased iPhone’, was sitting back relaxing with his ‘Man United loafers’ on top of a table probably thinking about how cool it would be to buy a ‘Man United shirt’ with his ‘overtime incentive’ considering the match was heading into extra time. The time was close to 2045hrs and according to his ‘Man United watch’ he had a good 30 minutes before work.

“It’s 90 minutes,” he thought. “This one’s over. It’s heading into extra time. I shall open Wikipedia at around the 118th minute to research the goalscorer.” And maybe had things gone according to plan then we could have witnessed some top notch quality questions like “How did you feel playing amidst so many Bollywood starlets?” Or some other questions that would have involved stellar words like “long ball”, “clean sheet”, “through ball” and would have made John Dykes, Andrew Leci and Joe Morrison rethink their lives.

Little did he know that a lad from West Bengal would be cutting short his free period and be forcing him to do his homework a lecture early  - only there was no lecture.

“Podany takes the corner… Mohammed Rafique heads it in and it’s a GOOOOAAALLL.” The greatest presenter in the world almost choked on the water he was drinking from his ‘Man United bottle’ and rushed towards the field. He was now scheduled to be on air in approximately T-10 minutes wearing some sort of god forsaken sherwani asking the first thing that popped into his mind.

“Rafique, kya aapne pehele kabhi goal maara hai? (Rafigue, have you ever scored a goal before?),” came the question.


Mr. ‘Greatest Presenter in the World’ had just asked the ‘Greatest Question in the World’ on the air for a production that was being watched by close to 57 million viewers. So magnanimous was the question’s greatness that my colleague and I remained speechless for more than 13 minutes.

The above instances mean just one thing. That for a country that claims to be ready to start the whole “rejuvenation of football” process, it’s not really ready in reality. Neither are the people. The fact that we’re ranked a disappointing 171 in the world substantiates that claim. Don’t get me wrong, there are people who want good things for Indian football. But the majority wants something else. Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham, Ranbir Kapoor. This dismal list goes on.

On the other hand, the broadcasters seem to have gone one step further. At a time when the ball was in their court to indeed milk the whole “birth of a footballing nation” phenomenon, they’ve cleverly shown it as just a piece of lucrative business that meant nothing but filling a slot on air that would have gone down otherwise as a waste of “hard disk” space. The ball has been dropped and what a time to drop it.

It’s been close to 20 days since the shimmering tournament came to an end. The ‘1st Champion’ has been crowned. All the promos have now become an epitome of being called ‘platitudinous’. But most importantly – the money has reached where it is supposed to reach. All the transactions have cleared.

People have gone around their usual business. They think that the football is done and dusted till next year. The marquee players have gone back. The redoubtable coaches have as well. Close to two months of continuous football is more than enough they think. The people want something new now they think. People are bored of the football now they think. After all, even Bigg Boss ends after close to 3 months.

They could NOT be any more wrong.

I know that I’m a ‘nobody’ when it comes to the governance of Indian football. What do I know? All I am is just another feeble character in the tale of the unsung story of football mismanagement. For what it’s worth, I might even be mythical as my tumultuous roar is what people call deafening silence.

But I know one thing for sure. What I want is what will save Indian football from the depths of despair.

The Indian Super League did award plenty of glorious awards to a handful of the Indian stars at the end of the league. They did even quote it as an “emergence of young talent”. Mission 2026 they said. But what now? Does anyone know where they are now? “They might be taking rest. It was a long season,” I can almost hear the broadcasters saying at this very moment. Oh! The chutzpah! Unrivalled indeed!

They might be taking rest. But during the half-time breaks when they’re playing the elite Federation Cup. ISL helped India see a number of prime players - Romeo Fernandes, Sandesh Jhingan, Baljit Sahni, Balwant Singh to name a few. Some of whom have scored goals in the Federation Cup as well. Wouldn’t it have been great if we could have seen them in action once ISL was over? But it cannot happen. Why? Because of commercials I guess. Who cares about sports when there’s no money involved, right?

Well I care. But do I matter? I guess not.

Asking for the coverage of the Federation Cup, or even the I-League for that matter, is a little too much considering that even the late Phil Hughes could not find his way on to the Broadcaster segments. We rather see some hackneyed “all-rounder” shows that portray the “triumphs” and the “great knocks” of legends that played during the time when TV was just a luxury instead of a necessity.

I know that I want to know each and every day before I go to bed what happened in 1996 when India took on Sri Lanka in the World Cup Group match in New Delhi. Or how “perfect” a certain Test temperament is. Or maybe how “awesome” an off spinner is. And let’s not forget a “swinging” virtuoso.

And if it’s not the case of commercials, it all comes down to the TRPs. What does TRP even stand for? Total Ridiculous Protocols!? Maybe!

I wonder what the TRP would have been had we been treated to an Indian Super Cup. I-League champions – Bengaluru FC – facing the Indian Super League champions – Atletico de Kolkata. But will it happen? I guess not. Why? I guess it’s too complicated.

Whoever came up with the idea of making the viewing of sports directly proportional to the TRPs was an idiot of the highest order who perhaps did not understand sport and had nothing to do while on vacation with his fifth cousin twice removed and decided to effectuate sport’s ‘perfect murder’.

There will come a day when commercials will force sports to die an untimely death. But the irony of the situation is that even then the sports funeral will not be televised because all that would be shown are the commercials. Am getting carried away, isn’t it? Nah! I’m just worried about the sanctity of sports.

What’s that they ask? My point I say. It’s moot. I’m not wasting my time anymore. It’s a lost cause.