Why Laxman deserves a Double Bagel!

Whenever I hear the name ‘Laxman’, the first thought that crosses my mind is the quaint image of a valiant warrior who devoted his life towards the betterment of his brother and served him with unflinching loyalty. It’s the image of a soldier who never in his wildest dreams could have imagined betraying someone or hurting the values for which he stands tall for. He lived in an era where allegiance was not just a word that could be written for the sake of it (Yes! They had pens and paper in the forest at that time). But now times have indeed changed and we’ve come a long way from that glorious era.

I guess it is absolutely justified to reach a conclusion that if Laxman was alive today, he would have died with shame. Not that I’m trying to draw a parallel with someone in specific. You see I’m not an avid politics enthusiast, but when a person chooses to be a part of a political party that in its manifesto says, and I quote, “we aim to build a modern, prosperous and vibrant India” I truly expect that my country politicians stand up to that reputation.

Let’s not even go to the extent about what the party has to say on the promotion of sports. Let’s focus on another area – Women! The party has this credence that women are the ‘nation builders’. It believes that women should be respected and must be treated as equals with the men of the country. Makes sense to me. But does it really matter to the party and the politicians themselves? Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt, shall we? The manifesto ends with a promise that the party commits itself to the aforementioned tasks and promises to work relentlessly towards those goals, for which they seek sixty months. So, there’s still time. Till that time comes, we’re all free to demean women in any manner possible and not give a damn when it comes to reverencing a phenomenon that can end wars – Sports.

 See that’s the biggest problem that our country faces today. We do not understand, nay we underestimate, the potential that a sport carries. A sportsman is considered to be someone who probably ended up playing the game because he/she was not good at studies. Might be true, but it’s a choice not an option. And if people, especially sportspersons, are condemned because they’re people who have taken the easy way out as studies was not a viable option for them, then politicians are no better. What should matter is the contribution that one makes towards his/her country. What should not matter is whose son/daughter/son-in-law/daughter-in-law that person is.

But what do I know? I’m just another hopeless sports fanatic who was not good at studies and took the easy way out into the sporting world. What’s missing from my life is that I’m not insulting women when I want to get back at my rivals and I’m not making riotous barbs targeting people’s nationality/citizenship.

Enough of beating around the bush. Mr. K Laxman (Oops! It’s Dr. K Laxman) calling Sania Mirza Pakistan’s daughter-in-law is downright disgusting and repellent of what we stand for as Indians. It’s very easy to make these absurd remarks Dr. Laxman, but what you don’t understand is that you’ve managed to betray your country and hurt the sentiments of a ritzy tennis player, along with millions of others, after portraying yourself as a loyal servant of the same country.

It’s not tough deciphering what has actually happened during this fiasco. It’s a classic case of getting back at a rival by using any desperate mean possible. That’s actually the sad state of affairs that this country has had to go through for the last 10 years now. What’s even sadder is the fact that it has now happened at a time when the ruling party has changed and proclaimed that ‘Ache Din’ have started. I myself have supported that party for quite some time and hence am confused whether am hurt because that party backstabbed me or because sports was taken a dig at yet again or because nationalism was for the umpteenth time exposed to the dark underbelly of ignominy.

If I get a chance to meet Dr. Laxman today, then I would not slap him. And I would definitely not put him on the receiving end of my wrath. The whole nation is already doing that. And if someone is not either angry or sad about the events that have conspired, then quite frankly that person is as naïve and silly as Dr. Laxman himself. What I would do is point out a few facts to him about Sania Mirza.

·         Sania Mirza has an extensive Wikipedia page that has 10 full extensive bullet points depicting her career achievements and laurels that she has helped her country (India) win. Dr. Laxman does not even have a notebook page about him.

·         Sania Mirza is presently the World No. 5 in the WTA doubles circuit – the highest that any Indian female tennis player has ever reached.

·         Sania Mirza is the only Indian female tennis player who has won a Grand Slam – the most prestigious tournament that the sport of tennis has to offer.

·         Sania Mirza is only Indian female tennis player to have played on Centre Court of Wimbledon – the oldest and most prestigious tennis tournament in history.

·         Sania Mirza is the only Indian tennis player to have won a WTA title – the first Indian till date to win a singles tennis title.

·         Sania Mirza was the first Indian tennis player to have been seeded at a Grand Slam - a feat that will probably never be repeated if the current state of affairs in relation to sports continues.

·         Sania Mirza is the only Indian tennis player to have been ranked inside the top 30 in the WTA singles circuit – a time when she beat the likes of Svetlana Kuznetsova, Vera Zvonareva, Marion Bartoli, Martina Hingis, Dinara Safina and Victoria Azarenka.

·         Need I go on?

But of course all these things mean nothing to a person like Dr. Laxman. Why you ask? Because of the simple fact that they are all achievements made in the field of sports. Furthermore, they are all made by a woman. And to add to that fact, they were all made by a person who is married to a Pakistani national.

Whether one is a sports fan or a political pundit, one can’t shy away from the unvarying truth that Sania Mirza after all is a treasured possession that India has produced. People can hate her guts for not playing well or despise her for giving more importance to modeling over tennis; but no one should dare blemish her individuality when it comes to being an Indian.  Not Dr. Laxman, not anyone else.

She indeed has no obligation whatsoever to prove her Indian-ness just because she married someone from a different country. She proved that she is an Indian by heart when her valorous presence set foot on the international arena and made the country proud. Now that I come to think about it, Sania Mirza has dedicated her whole life towards the betterment of the country and has served India in the most loyal manner possible. In other words, no one could have ever imagined that Sania Mirza would be a better ‘Laxman’ than Dr. K Laxman himself.

Jai Hind!

Easy Come, Easy Go – Memoir of a Liverpool fan!

It’s not a great time to be a Liverpool fan (To be precise, it never has been for a long time until last season). The English Premier League literally ‘slipped’ out of our grasps. England, which had a dense population of Liverpool blokes in its World Cup team, was knocked out in the group stages in Brazil. Alexis Sanchez became the latest ‘superstar’ to repudiate an offer that would have made him the envy of a certain London club. And to top it all off, our best player, scratch that, the Premier League’s best player left us to join some Catalan club in Spain.

What’s really interesting about that player’s move is the disconcerting fact that he’s moved to a club that should be banned from the transfer market at a time when he himself is banned from any football related activity for the next 4 months. Also, lest I forget, that certain individual whose ultimate aim in life is to play Champions League football could actually become a part of a club that might sometime soon be expelled from the Europe’s prestigious competition due to another proscribed transfer activity.

Woah! Too many expulsions and bans floating in the air. But I guess all that’s part and parcel of the game, especially when it comes to the player and team in question. To be honest, his departure is not quite excruciating as some thought that it might have been. It was bound to happen sometime or the other. Events at the starting of last season made it quite evident that he would definitely be ‘biting’ the dust elsewhere next season. And the fact that he played relentlessly upon his return just added more to that speculation.

 However, the hope was never lost. The faith in him was fortified considering the domination that was shown on the field and the dedication with which the Premier League Golden Boot award was won. But who knew that his stupendous act with the football last season was all just an audition, or to put it more delicately a ploy, to be part of something that according to him is a ‘dream come true’.

I’m not hurt (In other news, the sky is green). Let’s face it! We’ve seen plenty of departures in the past that have knocked the wind out of our sails. Michael Owen, Xabi Alonso, Fernando Torres, to name a few. But we’ve really come back strong (Have we?) However, what’s really hurting us is the prudent fact that we were not prepared for such a ‘catastrophe’ (Like we ever were!).

We stuck with him during his good times and we stood by his side during his bad times. The Patrice Evra racism ignominy, the Branislav Ivanovic biting fiasco and god knows what not that the idiot has managed to get himself involved with. I recently came across an inspiring article on ESPN that painted a picturesque portrait of him and gave an interesting explanation for his outrageous behaviour. The article said he does what he does whenever he does that because it is his desperate attempt to ‘protect his family’ and a despairing attempt to not return to the horrid childhood that he’s had.

The article is totally justified in its explanation about the maniac. On the other hand what I don’t agree with is the obligatory need for him to do what he does whenever he does it because he feels that if he does not do what he does then he will indeed become someone who has no need for. I mean are you freaking crazy dude?

You’re a classy player with some ritzy talent when it comes to football. You feel that underperforming in one match with take all that away from you? You feel that by just letting a hapless AS Monaco-reject run past you to score will jeopardize your career to such an extent that you need to racially abuse the shit out of him? You feel that trailing to a team that boasts of a Serbian joker, whose biggest accomplishment in life by the way is to share his name with a hot tennis superstar, would in some way demean your character? If yes, then you’re goddam crazy.

Coming back to the ‘not being ready’ part, it’s plain and simple – Liverpool were not ready to tackle this situation. All this time they were being misled that they’re going to get some action from a brainless strumpet only to be kicked in the nuts at the very end. And, not that I’m fixating on it, we’ve been kicked in the nuts quite a few times now. Yes! We did get the compensation that we deserved from his departure and my hopes really rest on Brendan Rodgers to utilize that sum properly, but we all remember what happened when a certain Spanish warrior left.

It’s really perplexing when one realizes the fetish that Liverpool has with English players. The Spanish player’s departure opened the doors for the arrival of Andy Carroll and Stewart Downing. So Liverpool, this is a sincere request from an ardent Red fan – Please don’t spend all the money that we have now on another dude with a stupid ponytail and an overrated Villa player.

I mean we did buy Rickie Lambert and Adam Lallana, but to be fair that was before ‘he’ chose to move to a country where his wife’s family is based. Now that is the greatest and the most supreme reason to move somewhere. Obviously you cannot admit openly that the club you’re moving to is ‘better’ than the one you’re leaving. Also, you cannot acknowledge that you’re being stifled there as well. Hence, bring in the family. Indeed! That will work. Like it always has! I mean will the kidding ever stop?

The world is laughing right now at Liverpool. To be fair, we kind of deserve it as well. We never let go of an opportunity to troll others so why should we not be dealt with in the same manner? “It’s only logical.” We trolled Arsenal for years before they broke their trophy drought. We trolled Manchester United last season like crazy when David Moyes was on a ‘record-shattering’ spree. And of course Chelsea’s special one has been trolled over the years as well until the famous ‘slip-up’ last season.

We’ve enjoyed our short-lived ups and relished our prolonged downs. We’ve cherished our majestic triumphs and valued our humbling defeats. We’ve laughed at other’s misfortunes and been laughed at by others at ours. We’ve been trumped beyond recognition by our detractors in the past and have risen like a sovereign phoenix to prove them wrong. It comes and it goes and this time it’s no different!

Once a champion, always a champion!

It’s that time of the year again when I, probably for the only time, long for the sophistication that sport, especially tennis, has to offer. I’m not a fan when it comes to witnessing stringent rules and stern schedules, but when a certain ‘King’ ascends to his throne every year around the time of my birthday everything else can go take a hike. Yet another Wimbledon has come and gone. Yes! Roger Federer made the final. No! He did not win it. Yes! He’s still the greatest of all time. No! That’s not my heart talking.

There comes a time in a tennis player’s life when all that he’s thinking about is how much more his body can handle the grueling sport. At 31 years of age, Pete Sampras probably had the whole world get inside his head and force him to contemplate retirement. He did retire eventually after winning the last of his 14 Grand Slams titles at the 2002 US Open where he was seeded a shocking 17th. At 32 years of age, Roger Federer is World No. 3 in an era that is bullishly dominated by impeccable fitness and sturdy stamina.

I know what people are thinking about right now. You’re not wrong you know. I thought the same thing as well. What about Andre Agassi? The American was ranked No. 1 in the world at 33 years of age and is hence the oldest player to have achieved that feat. But what people miss out there is that the whole Agassi era was not about ‘power’. It was all about ‘technique’ and ‘craftsmanship’.

 What Agassi did brilliantly despite being at the fag end of his career was to master the art of technique. Indeed that era had young guns like Andy Roddick, Xavier Malise and Lleyton Hewitt, but they were all just getting started and the feisty epoch of fitness, speed and power was yet to start. And that is where Roger Federer comes in. The reason why Federer has achieved what he has achieved is because he has mastered the blend between artistry and power to such levels of brilliance that the whole world just cannot not stop doing what they’re doing and watch a genius execute some serene immortality.

World No. 1 Novak Djokovic is currently an epitome of discipline in the field of fitness. He has an inflexible diet regime, his stamina is next to being unconquerable and his vigour is supreme. Add some beautiful tennis to that and imagine being on Centre Court against him. There’s a count-on-one-hand list that can stand up against that sort of domination. And in that list is a 32-year old, father of 4, Swiss maestro who, even in this indomitable power era, can go out at the biggest stage of them all and derail a Swiss compatriot’s swift bandwagon, produce master class to deflate a Canadian hero and implement some unprecedented tennis to push a Djoker right till the edge of a cliff. And to top it all, it’s on grass.

People should not be judging any player on the basis of just one match. I agree that Federer’s back hand in the final was not at its destructive best. However, Federer played some heart-stopping tennis at SW19 this time around. His new attitude is what drove him further to achieve greatness even at a time when he has surpassed all set levels of perpetuity. It’s that intent to enjoy the game that drove him to being so ridiculously great at it. Losing just 4 sets in total at Wimbledon 2014 (3 of which were in the final) should be more than enough to figure out the dominating persona that the 17-time Grand Slam champion has.

Over the years Wimbledon has become synonymous with Roger Federer. To put it more delicately, Wimbledon is incomplete with the essence of Federer. And why not? Federer was an integral part of the three most epic finals that SW19 has ever witnessed.

2008, a time when Centre Court was without its ‘Royal Roof’ and Rafael Nadal was still in his shady sleeveless shirts. Federer being 2 sets down roared back in heart-thumping manner to win the next two only to lose the 5th set 9-7 in partial darkness. It was the longest final in terms of time in Wimbledon history. And who was part of it? Roger Federer.

2009, a time when Federer broke down at Rod Laver arena after losing to Nadal only to complete his career Grand Slam 4 months later in Nadal’s own backyard. Federer and Roddick battled it out in the longest final in terms of games played in Wimbledon history that ultimately witnessed Federer pip Roddick 16-14 in the 5th set. Again, who was part of it? Roger Federer.

2014, a time when Federer, who probably for the first time was the least favorite after a shocking second round exit in 2013, reached his 9th Wimbledon final after shutting out young and fast players by moving around the court like a gazelle. He saved a championship point in the 4th set, pushed it to the 5th against all odds, and smashed 29 vintage sniper aces only to lose it at the end. Indeed the world was gutted. Some even wondered whether it’s time for his majesty to throw in the towel. But then we heard those 4 magical words “See You Next Year” and everything was ok with the world once again.

Federer no doubt has gained the love, appreciation and respect of the world. His majestic inventions still make me find something soft to keep under my face so that I don’t break my jaw when it falls with astounding awe. To win against Federer is like winning against the whole world. And just thinking about the fact that Federer’s opponents still thank him for letting them win is a testament of his greatness and without a shadow of a doubt speaks a lot about the quality of exquisite tennis that the King still has left to offer.